Querying Agents

So...with every query letter I write, I have to say why I chose that particular agent. As I'm researching agents, they all agree they don't want you to query them just because they're next on the list of agents in the Writer's Market book that accepts murder mystery/thriller/women's/Southern novels. Well, this is easier said than done.

Yes, some of the agents on my list say something that stands out. Like we're actively seeking new, unpublished writers in this genre. Or, we're looking for mysteries from a woman's perspective. Or we're looking for thriller novels that have a different "subject" than what's already out there. My female protagonist is a food critic. See: different.

However, sometimes there isn't another reason to query them other than they're next on the list. What do you do then? Make shit up!!! I graduated with a B.A. in English Literature and Journalism and with an M.A. in English Literature with a concentration in Creative Writing. All of that is to say, I'm very good at bullshitting. In fact, I've spent the last ten years of my life practicing my professional bullshit skills. This is not to say I should make up crap because crap is simply that: crap. And we can all discern the crap from the professionally crafted slightly bullshit inspired explanation.

So, that's where I'm at with my query letters. I've researched and researched in the Writer's Market books, and I'm going over and over every word on every agent's website (assuming they have one, which all don't). Now it's time to get creative! And possibly pull some stuff out of my butt, as we creatives say.

Other thoughts on agents:

Every Writer's Market book and many agent websites tell you to head to your local bookstore and look in the front few pages of popular mystery novels because this is where the author is going to thank their agent. This way, when writing query letters, you can say, "hey, you represent so and so, and my book is like theirs because..." I'm calling bullshit on this one big time!!! I am an avid murder mystery reader. I own a trillion mystery novels, yes a trillion, and I spend countless hours in bookstores, and I rarely, and I mean RARELY, see any author thank their agent in the first few pages. Generally what I see is publisher information, BUT NO FREAKING AGENT NAME! So, thanks Writer's Guide, but this tip is SO NOT HELPFUL!

Also, I'm spending a great deal of time researching writers conferences. This, really, is where you would like to meet agents because the publishing industry, like every other industry in the world, is all about who you know. At this point, my connections in the publishing industry are slim-none. And by that I really mean nill, zero, zip. So, perhaps I shall attend a writers conference or two and meet some people in the biz. I'm definitely going to attend Killer Nashville, which is in Nashville in August and all about murder mystery novels. Hence the title. I'm also looking at several in NYC because that's where the publishing industry is centrally located, and my sister lives there, so I have a place to crash for free. And of course, I'm looking at conferences all over the Southeast.

Back to research for now. As always, please keep me in mind when thinking of all the handy dandy people in your address books. Maybe you know someone who can help me get published and you don't even realize it. So mine your address books friends! Your help is greatly, greatly appreciated!