Random Story

So, my name is V, and you don’t know me very well yet. You’ll get to know me, and you’ll get to like me. I’m sure. We’ll be great friends. Trust me.

A random story for you.

So, I’m in the shower today shaving my legs because it has been so long since I’ve done it, the hair on my legs is now soft. Soft. You know, soft. Like fur. Is it bad when you feel like you have fur growing on your legs?

Well, my boy- (Now here’s the part where my train of thought comes to a screeching halt. Can I say boyfriend here? If I had a boyfriend when I was thirteen, can I have a boyfriend when I’m thirty? I don’t know what else to call him though. Let’s see...significant other? Partner? Roommate? Ok, so that last one was a little ridiculous, but you see my point here. Other people have trouble with it too. He’s been referred to as my husband, boyfriend, fiancé all on the same occasion and with several stutters in between. It’s funny watching people handle the awkwardness of age and relationships. As I’ve told you before, I like to study people. And being thirty and merely dating, provides me all sorts of ways to study the awkwardness of people.)

So my boyfriend is completely honest. I will know when I’m looking “majorly fuckable” in my low cut little black dress. However, he doesn’t hold back the truth when it comes to other, less stellar qualities of my feminity. All of this is to say he commented on my fur, and that is the reason I’m shaving.

I’m shaving with my two dollar, two for one shave gel that I got at Target. The only reason I bought it was it was the low, low sale price. Well, it was on sale, and the can was red. And I’m obsessed with red. And I’m a coupon whore. So, I’m shaving my legs and notice the shave gel is pink and scented. What a lovely treat: pink, scented shave gel. Wait. I’ve heard that before. Where have I heard that before? Anyone? Anyone? Legally Blonde. Reese Witherspoon. She handed her professor her pink, scented resume. Great movie. Not one you own but one you watch on tv every time it comes on. Yes, I’m thirty and still watching Reese Witherspoon’s cheesy chick flick movies. Don’t judge me. You do it too.

So, obviously I have an aversion to shaving. But I have a reason. I’m moley. What I mean by that is I have several moles. My dad has moles and skin cancer as a result. I don’t have moles like that, yet. I have tiny ones you can barely see. However, to shave over them can cut them and repeated cuts can lead to skin cancer. Now you see why I have an aversion to shaving. It’s totally justified right? And I don’t go au naturale, per se, well…I guess given that I just told you I had fur, that’s not entirely truthful. Okay, well whatever, I have too many other amazing qualities for my man to be worried about whether or not my legs are shaved. Okay! Alright, so maybe that was a little heavy, but you get my point. I mean, really? Life is too good to be worried about shit like that. And at this stage in the game…I’m too old to care.