You have to take the good with the bad.

Today was not a good writing day. As a writer, I find I throw myself into a direction, and then when that direction runs out, I spend a day planning/scheming/searching for the next direction, another path to venture down, another dimension of one of my characters in which to explore.

So, I didn't get much writing done today. It just wasn't a good day for writing, but I did figure out two new directions in which to run as far as my story goes.

One aspect of my novel I need to work on is setting, and I did a lot of research regarding this angle today. So, tomorrow, I can really tackle this part of my story. By tackle, I mean printing out a copy of all of my chapters and going through and hand writing in setting where it needs to be. I hate printing my novel over and over again, as it is a novel, and I am an environmentalist, but sometimes it takes paper in front of me to be able to see the novel for what it is...to find the good, the holes, and the completely lacking. Honestly though. My philosophy at this point is: whatever it takes to get this novel finished and sold! It's time to finish it and sell it, so I can write another. This thought excites, overwhelms, and terrifies me all at the same time.

Another direction I need to run in is in regards to my serial killer. I figured this out in the shower today. I figure my life out in the shower and my protagonist's life out in the shower as well. It's just where I think most clearly. I decided today that in order for my killer to kill the two people he killed two days ago, I have to do/write x, y, and z. So....tomorrow and the next days involve writing x, y, and z.

Some days, the list of tasks left to finish this novel is overwhelming. I'm not going to lie. It's just freaking hard. However, this is my goal, and these are my dreams, and at this stage in the game, I'm not going to let anything get in the way of me finishing and publishing this novel, including my own self doubt.

So I push forward. And push through the writer's block and self doubt to another good day of writing that will change my whole opinion of how the writing process is going. It's a very day to day process. Feelings, thoughts, plans, strategies all change as each day comes to a close.

I will continue to work on these dimensions through the weekend. I very much look forward to a meeting with my adviser/editor on Monday. Sometimes, another perspective is exactly what I need to keep pushing forward and jumping all of the different hurdles involved in this kind of novel. Because, frankly, sometimes it's all a little too much in my head and an outsider's perspective is what I need.