I'm blogging in an attempt to procrastinate.
These days, I'm playing the waiting game. Wait and wait and wait some more for some literary agent to contact me saying, "I want to read and/or rep your book!" I'm also playing the: What the fuck am I doing with my life game? And the how the hell can I make some more money writing game? And the I need a freaking job badly game. And the applying for job game, which is less fun than the I need a job game.
I've sent out 27 query letters so far. Some were just query letters; some were query letters, a synopsis, and sample chapters. I've received 9 rejections so far. They sting. They just do. This book is an extension of my being. Of course, it's going to hurt when someone says she's not well-written enough or good enough or interesting enough! However, I try to move forward every single day. Even if it's just one small step forward, I MUST take a step forward EVERY DAY. Otherwise, I end up in crazy, lost, depressed writer land. Which, at this point, I've accepted as just part of being a writer, but it still sucks. It's not a happy place. I feel lost there and question myself. Which I can't be doing. Especially not now.
So, I send out more query letters. I tell all of my friends when I receive a new rejection letter, so they can say things like, "Bollocks!" and "Fuckers!" and "Don't listen to them! Just send out another query letter!" I generally listen to my friends instead of the rejection letters. And I'm constantly reminded that "it only takes one YES." Love all of you who have said this to me recently!
I'm also applying for jobs these days. I just want to write. And I'm a decent writer. I just haven't figured out how to make enough money off my writing. Every day I send out another resume and writing samples to magazines and websites just trying to land a gig writing anything. Because it's been almost a month since I sent out my first query letter, and I am now entertaining the idea that I need to get a job before my savings really does run dry. So, of course I want a writing job, but I can't figure out how to market myself. If anyone has any ideas on this front...you know...pass them along! Please!
I'm also applying for bar wench jobs. Because I need a job. And money. Plus, I need something to occupy my time. Because OMG am I a crazy writer if you let me spend too much time in my own head, especially while playing the waiting game!!! Again, if anyone has a lead on a job, please pass the info along to your friendly neighborhood unemployed writer.
I'm getting together my list of literary agents to query for round 2. There will probably be about 30 in this bunch as well. So, here we go! Let's do this! Let's all pray a little more, plan a little more, and write a little more. Maybe these are the keys to success. Who knows? But I am determined and willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to achieve my dreams. No matter what. I have said this before, and I stand by it: No IS NO T an option!
